Dear Me,
I didn’t set out to write a theory.
I set out to find a way to share a personal and hopefully helpful truth.
What began as an exercise in instructional design, became a lava breaching parts of myself, unearthing a will to evolve; an excavatio-a deep excavation—of myself, of systems, of my own fear and silence. Somewhere along the way, it became clear that I wasn’t just teaching about authenticity. I was maturing my own. I was learning more about the pursuit of authenticity as a journey towards a better me.
But then it started floating. I told a few close to me and their interest challenged me. Their responses demanded more. But what more was there to give?
It’s no secret the more we speak of a thing the more life it takes on. Writing out the lessons that have set up roots for so long in my head—in my spirit–putting them on paper and calling the collection a theory or thought model has terrified me more than I expected. Because it’s not just words. It’s accountability. It’s implications. It’s the knowing that once you speak a truth to a crowd, you can’t pretend you never said it.
I’ve already said too much.
So maybe my apprehension, my fear to press forward is attached to the weight of what I’m carrying. My anxiety is rooted in the irrefutable knowledge that someone else, right now, is depending on this.
On me.
So how can I not deliver? How could I stop speaking a truth that is meant to give so much to others. And for that reason, I keep writing. I continue to explore the implications and consequences to questions I’ve not only pondered, but lived.
I know the cost of living in the expectations of others, disconnected from the pricelessness of my own worth.
It’s not instructions or a list of how-to’s. It’s not a self-help cheat or regurgitated clichés. It’s a theory on the beginning of your best. A solo commitment to a better you, a better world, a better all.
I know the sum total of placing external regard before my own intuition. Ignoring the fireworks in my belly that serve as the only validation needed for a job well done.
I’ve well surpassed the 10000 hours requirement to claim expertise in moving a deferred life into an action-based pursuit of authentic alignment. Wellness. Core-conviction. Compassion and understanding.
So soon I share with the world, in all its glory and imperfections, a guide, a model, a theory to become, that starts with a better pursuit.
It’s time to become.
Always,
Dew