Travel Time to Pikepsy

I’m not sure what I feel right now. The wee hours in the morning and I should be sleep but my heart… My heart is something. I don’t know what tho. My thoughts are all over the place. I think I need to cry. I can’t even remember the last time I cried. Or screamed. Or genuinely felt heard. 

There is a haze of fear and insecurity that seems to be wrecking havoc on my mind. I don’t know what to do with that right now. I am trying not to shut down, keep pushing forward…  I don’t know. I  am a smart, funny, intriguing, desirable human being. I am worthy and valuable. I deserve and expect the best which is no less than I give. 

Is that true? Am I giving my best? Am I accepting only the best? 

I feel behind on everything. I feel so trapped in this body. I feel like there is so much road to travel and right now in this moment, I’m just too tired. 

I’m done. We’ll try again tomorrow.