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Archives | love&light

Apologies & Applesauce

I guess what I am learning along this journey is that love isn’t about what you receive, it’s about what you give. But for that love to be healthy, to be balanced, you have to love some one who has that same understanding. Otherwise, you tread dangerous territory and risk losing yourself by giving too much with no balance, no reciprocation to keep you upright.

We are not people who are meant to be alone. We made to give of ourselves. Vulnerability is difficult because when given freely, to the right person, it sets you up for a bond that can be described by mortal words. The reward is indeed greater than the risk.

When we begin to fear that our love is returned, that our vulnerability is in vain, that fear can be paralyzing. How we respond to that fear can make or break a relationship. It’s built that way. Some relationships need not survive the test. But, there are those that do. But, it absolutely take two people coming together and deciding the worth of that investment.

I do not blame love for pain. I do not believe love hurts or that love abuses. Love just is. People are the carriers. We masquerade our actions as love but love exists without action. In some cases without recognition. We can fight it. We can ignore it but dwells. What we pass on is our reaction to love. What we give people is our response to loving them. Our excitement, our fear, our frustration, our cheer, our exuberance. These are our responses.

Hopefully we’re responsible enough to be aware of how we carry and respond to love. Moreover, prayerfully we have people who choose to understand us enough to see through our responses. Love is an investment. It can be a calculated gamble. Some of us get high off the gamble alone. It doesn’t matter what the actual cost or the dividend, it’s the chase of the high. Some of us just want the security. Some of us want the complete pay off.

However you see it, I encourage us all to be brave enough to fight for what matters. Within ourselves and those we love.



My mother, the woman who birthed me, calls me mean on a regular basis. How do you really think I feel about you saying it?