Illuminate

There are so many things
I want to say to you
But it’s never the right time
The right moment
Or appropriate
So I swallow
What the world knows
And I just need
To get off my chest
Because what’s the point
In screaming lights
Midday
Everyone can see
So I take my need
To unburden myself
And I hide
In places that whisper
And here
I find my safety
Here I write on the walls
And spin on my heels
Because here
I can repeat myself
And live like no one
Already knows my secrets
Or as if everyone does
And cares
Here I can say a thousand times
I’m in love
And the tiny ghosts
Upon the wall
Gasp like never before
Here I can be understood
Because there’s only me
And my fear
There are no two sides
Trust me
Or not
Here
I’m slowly dying
Nauseated by the merry go round
But it’s better
Than spilling all my secrets
To the sun
And having her
Burn me in the shine

Lay Back

Lay against me

Honey clear skin

Like nothing I’ve ever seen

Rest against me

And know I’ve got you

Drap me in the necessity

Of your close proximity

Let the nerves

Bounce between us

As I trace your skin

Let my fingertips

Memorize this day

This moment

Where we are here together

In silence

And I can smell

The inside ofyour neck

Pure and intoxicating

I want nothing more

Than to spread you open

And drink you in

Tongan wet

Samoan more

But for now

I’ll exist here

In this space

You rested against a heart

Beating to love you

Wanted and afraid

But yours nonetheless

Selfish

 

I’m afraid of this dynamic

the need to give and give

til it hurts

Trusting nothing but the images

that torment

Fearless

And heart full

Today stands this challenge

to start anew

Here we go

Will you keep me

protected

Will care that I need you

Will need to see me

to show yourself

what we could have been

or am I standing alone

in this pile of memories

That all glow

like our first night together

Can I step down

Or will I sink

I have nothing to give

but this heart

will that ever be enough