Sometimes the most senseless acts can put things in complete perspective.

I have to keep typing to get to the center of what I really want to say. The physical words out of my mouth.

I always want to be a good person. I don’t always succeed at doing so.

The shortcomings of another should, therefore, not affect me so significantly. But it’s not their actions, it’s the unsettled emotions that reside within me that I allow their actions to trigger.

So how do you work through those? That’s been a theme for people in my life lately. Yella, my mom, myself, working through your emotions, constructively. Some more than others but still.

Growth.

I choose to never stop growing. What I take that to mean is that I am allowed to be flawed. I am allowed to make mistakes but I am not allowed to demonize myself for those mistakes. Some days I will be selfish. Some days I will be sad. Some days I will be kind and loving. but every day I will attempt to be better than I have been. I must. This is what I control.

If I can be given the things necessary to sustain this life, friends, love, support, care, then I believe the least I can do is repay my debt with my best effort.

Then again, it is just a thought.

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