The dynamic of human relationships is spiraling out of control in my life right now. This discourse makes for the best creativity from me. *sad face*

The people we love and the depths we’ll go to love them. To endure the vulnerability. To curtail the selfishness.

I suffer dramatically with the latter. Therefore I compensate heavily in an attempt to seem balanced when really it’s just the latter tipping the scales and brandishing it in love’s face.

So now I’m engrossed in it. The dynamic between giving and taking where love and attention is concerned. Do we give just to receive? Or is the gift genuine?

I don’t believe that’s really what I want to say. I can’t find what I really want to say because I allowed myself to become so censored. I’ve allowed others people misunderstanding of my process to keep me from being pure with it. How will they take this when it’s not even about them? I’m considering the random collection of actions we experience as human beings but the statement that leads me; that drives me; may have originated from an actual encounter. Now this post is about that person and not about the observation. So fear dictates instead of permeates.

Afraid of saying something that would be misconstrued. Afraid that what I really mean cannot be taken in the context it is meant.

I can not like your behavior and love you. I can love you and not miss you. I can miss you but cut you off. It’s all choice and individuality and understanding and human relationships. How dynamic?

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