I’m a bottle of emotion right now.  A recent muscle pull has me contemplating even more seriously the effects of obesity. I love it when people talk about weight around me. They talk to every one in the circle but me. they are side stepping my feelings. Making sure not to step on the eggshell. I’m beyond that point of necessary sensitivity. Still amusing though. And kinda sweet. In a sad way. Book coming soon.

Who ever said trying to achieve something, anything, isn’t hard work is a bold face muthafuggin lie and you go slap them in the face, ret nah. It’s ok, I’ll wait.

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Continue after slapping

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I just feel so drained all the time. So unstable. Yet, so excited. The possibilities seem endless. And I think optimistically we want the possibilities to all be positive. But, realistically those possibilities include falling flat then a jujone on my face.

The stakes are higher now. I brought people into the circle. Not sure if they fully understand where I’m trying to go. By where, I mean how high. By high, I mean so far gone.  I’m a big picture person. I take pieces and see what all i need to make those pieces into a twin tower collage.

I do not want to get lost in the act of preparation. I want to do. Since that is who I am. I am moving towards something. I make sure to check myself at every turn to make sure what I am doing at that moment is moving toward goal-completion.

The pieces fit.

After mulling over the puzzle for so long. After moving pass the picture the pieces will end up being. The actual act of putting it together, the act of progress is challenging and thrilling. Chaotic and soul-resting. Exactly what I asked for.

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