I’m giving you the chance to admit what you don’t think I know. I wish you could read my mind maybe then you would understand the damaging affects of silence. Stop making excuses for not having excuses. I love you isn’t a bandaid. Love never fades, trust does. Commitment feeds on the nutrients of trust, without which relationships subside.
Most people value their time but I value my thought process. I gave you mind hours that poetry had been begging for. I don’t believe in regret. I believe in honesty and its absence is written all over your face.
Password requests make sense on email accounts but not on the truth. I told you from the beginning that I don’t know how to be anything else but me. We both have pasts that call us in the middle of the night whispering remember when. We both have shadows of remember when we desperately hope to forget. We both have residue on our hands from those we have long since washed away. But, our collective focus should be on our future together. Focal points cascade when there’s still an obligation to remind the past how much we love it.
People not meant to see your happiness recognize its face due to the knowledge of its origin. Questions on why you’d want to hid get asked and I have no answers. But feel foolish for having shared. Resentment too close for comfort, degrading the pride that I know to be a sin.
Venting is good for the soul. Exhale confusion to inhale calm. I attempt to be patient, I attempt to await the words that should ease the apprehension. 29 knocked me down today and as well wishes poured forth my mind was wrought with thoughts of you. I’m trying desperately to keep it that way.