Admittedly I am not the poster child for relationships. My friend and I were talking today about passwords and going into your significant other’s account. I have done this once. And only once, since then I have simply held to my belief that if I distrust you so much that I have to follow in behind you then I don’t need to be with you.
Unfortunately I am the exception. I was told that you look because you don’t want to end up ‘played’. Played? The only way any one can you play is if you give more than you are comfortable with. Dew, what are you talking about? Well, I am talking about boundaries. Set them. Keep them. Know that you are worth being waited on. Know that you are worth being faithful to. Know that you deserve honesty and respect and accept nothing less. If you stop tolerating bullshit from these know-nothings then you will see your level of options change. You find yourself dealing with people who want more than a myspace freak. If you mnake up your mind that you want put up with the foolishness then you will find getting played is no longer any option.
I’ve been on both sides of the coin, usually the guilty side but still. I know its a risk either way. I go into all my relationships attempting to be as honest as possible, whether you believe in my honesty is up to you. I come with baggage. You will never be first on my list. My career is most important. I don’t want kids. Until I meet someone who can change those things, they stand as they are. I’m honest enough to tell you that, if you choose to hang in there with me, thats on you. I say that because it pains me to see so many of my friends hanging on to guys, buying them things they can’t afford, going out on a hanging limb emotionally to keep someone who gives them nothing in return but a phone conversation and an orgasm.
It all goes back to loving yourself first. If you can love yourself first then you won’t feel compelled to pay for love or bribe your way into a relationship. “If I just keep fucking him/her I’ll get a commitment.” “If I just keep holding on, they’ll see that I’m the soldier they need me to be” Or they’ll see that they can call you anytime for a good fuck and free counseling?
What I am saying is hard to digest I know. It actually requires you to sit in a room by yourself on more than one occasion. How dare I ask so much of you. Hey, all I can do is suggest it, if you’re happy with the course of things, ignore me and my responsibility pish posh. I’ll still be here at 3 in the morning when you want to discuss the wedding invitation you received in the mail from the guy you slept with yesterday that told you you were the apple of his eye. Here’s my shoulder, embrace it.