Sometimes I wonder why I do it

Part of me knows 
the best way to say good-bye
is to close the door.
I want this to be over
ths visit down memory lane
That always ends up here
This constant struggle
To let go
It would be different 
had you never known
had you never read 
I can be angry at you
For comprehending the message
But never as angry as I am at myself
for the expression.
It took 6 months to find 
A love that lasts forever
And there seems to be 
no end 
To the emotion in these fingertips
That express themselves
through prose
about you and the happy ending
You enjoy with someone else
And maybe
Just maybe
I stare at this door
holding it open
not to hold on to what never was
But determined, blindly
not to give up 
on what could be