Just Thinking

Maybe I do have something to say.

When I read, no matter what I read, it tends to open the flood gates of thoughts. Some people get high, I read. This experience has made me feel overwhelmingly sensitive. I have fought the consequences of theseĀ feelings but I recognize they do exist. I’m ready to put on my game face and head into the workforce again. Am I happy about it? Not particularly, but it is what has to be done right now.

Right now. Isn’t it funny how immediacy can dictate so many things in our lives? When I had the future at my grasp right now seemed far enough away that it does not pose any threats to my dreams. But now, now that right now has caught up with my time table, now that right now is in plain sight, shifts and alterations must be made to the greater scheme of things to compensate for lack of action.

There is a grave difference between set back and surrender.

I may not be making any sense to anyone but myself but I look at where I want to be in say five years. My mind forms a plan of action to get there and as long as five years seems five years away its ok not to be where you intended. Its ok for your plan of action to still be in its planning stages. But five years has passed and everything you thought you’d accomplish is still on a piece of paper hanging on the fridge or in a tattoo that you ignore or on a scale that you hide away in the closet, now what do you do? Let go?

I’m babbling. It’s not necessarily my own walk I’m thinking of at the moment just in general. I’ve come in contact with so many people who have wanted and wished and planned but did nothing to make happen. They sat and waited on miracle without realizing they were the miracle.