Rock Hard

The past couple of weeks have been stressful. It seems hard for some of my friends and all of my family to understand just how much time it takes to get this business going. I don’t do anything small so when I go in I want to have all my ducks in a row. One of my business loans was denied so plan b is kicking in gear. If those two fall through then its back to corporate america. And believe me when I say the two of us do not get along very well. 

Everyone wants the same amount of time I gave them when I worked 7-3. With this business I’m working around the clock, just the research and design alone is killing me. I’m picky as hell and I want it right. I make no apologies for that. When a client comes to me and entrusts me to bring their creative works to life, I don’t want them to accept any apologies either. 

I guess what it boils down to is guilt. I feel guilty for not being able to give more of myself. I feel guilty for them thinking that this business or my career means more to me than them. Is it that? I don’t think so. 

I’ve given myself one more month, if I can’t come up with the financing by then, I will just have to go back to work. I can still do publishing on the side like I had been. I won’t think of it as failing, just postponing.