I’m confused but I’m not quite sure about what.
I got a job offer coming not sure what to do. Still waiting to see if the biz loans come through. Decisions, decisions.
One of these days I’ll get to sleep before 5 in the morning.
And to those faithful and attentive, it’s coming, later than promised, but sooner than you thought.
I hit 60,000 miles at the light
I was told to trade you in long ago
But that would be betrayal
You brought me this far
No warranty left
So I’m out on a limb
But I trust you
to carry me home
This weekend my good buddy William set out to break the biblical spell I am under. Here’s a small piece of advice, if you are planning to break someone from under a spell, first have a clear understanding of the spell they are under first.
I mean I get it. he learned someting different and he wanted to share it. Cool. My problem comes in with the technique used to proselytize. Do not denounce the Bible to tell me about the lies white men have forced upon me while using the Bible to prove it. Read it twice. It still won’t make sense.
William is no where close to the only person who has told me Christianity is a lie and the Bible can’t be trusted. That would probably be more affective to an actual Christian, at least in the traditional sense. I believe in a savior, ot necessarily in the literal sense, I believe in a God, the God, whichever variation works for you. I do not believe in denomination and while the Bible is excellent testimony of early civilization, I do not believe in the literal significance.
Having said all that he was failed mission to begin with. Now from what I gether he was set on proving that the early egyptians being one of the first and the highly advanced in knowledge was actually the promised people and the stories of the bible were written on the walls of the pyramiads thousands of years before adam and eve. Yay for them. His argument was that nothing in the bible could be proven but he could put his hands on the pyramids thereby proving gods walked the earth (literally) amongst the egyptians. Again, yay for them.
Not once did I tell him he was wrong, because quite frankly I don’t know. And even more to the point I don’t care. It’s up to William to find the belief system that will guide his life. I’ve found mine and my faith is strong enough that I have these conversations, it seems, on a regular basis and they are quite entertaining and even more informing but do nothing to waver my beliefs.
Its just funny to me that all the people I talk who have problems specifically with Christianity have more hatred for the Chrisians themselves than the actual religion.
I was finally going through the books in my book room (no where close to a library) and I saw the journal you bought me some years ago. The card was still inside so was the sentiment. Maybe its still wishful thinking but the words still scream louder than you probably intended. Somedays my biggest fear is that I will never know.
The past couple of weeks have been stressful. It seems hard for some of my friends and all of my family to understand just how much time it takes to get this business going. I don’t do anything small so when I go in I want to have all my ducks in a row. One of my business loans was denied so plan b is kicking in gear. If those two fall through then its back to corporate america. And believe me when I say the two of us do not get along very well.
Everyone wants the same amount of time I gave them when I worked 7-3. With this business I’m working around the clock, just the research and design alone is killing me. I’m picky as hell and I want it right. I make no apologies for that. When a client comes to me and entrusts me to bring their creative works to life, I don’t want them to accept any apologies either.
I guess what it boils down to is guilt. I feel guilty for not being able to give more of myself. I feel guilty for them thinking that this business or my career means more to me than them. Is it that? I don’t think so.
I’ve given myself one more month, if I can’t come up with the financing by then, I will just have to go back to work. I can still do publishing on the side like I had been. I won’t think of it as failing, just postponing.