Having free time is overrated. Remind me of that the next time I complain about not having any.
While driving, I was thinking about this step I’m taking, this amazing leap that to some seems so out of bounds, so in the air, I pondered:
We are conditioned to believe we are not above struggle, we are not above heartache, almost as if it is pain that defines life. Tell me why is it we do not see the same commonplace, the same conditioning on happiness?
I no longer ask pain, why me. I ask happiness, why not.
His name is MIKA. He’s from the UK and I think I love him. I stumbled across his album doing some random searching similar to how I found Robin Thicke, long before Lost without U. Now wouldn’t you know it, I love this guy.
First of all, he has a song called Big Girl (U are Beautiful), seriously, need I say more?
So of all places, I’m walking in the library and I see my high school sweetheart, I use the term loosely. He’s filled out in a couple of places and seems to have grown up a little bit. Hard to tell after a 6 minute conversation but still. It was awkward in the sense, I didn’t want to say anything to mislead him. But, he says he’s been married almost 4 years now that should read as moved on.
I’m happy for him. More than anything I always wanted to know that he was okay. I was always scared for him. I was scared he would wake up one day and not know who he was.Sounds dramatic but so was his life at one point and time. Seeing him made me realize I love him. He was a major part of my life and factor in my social conditioning, its hard not to care for someone who played such an intregal role in your life.
Please don’t confuse love and being in-love, I’ll lecture on the differences at a later date.
I think mayeb now that we have both have very different lives, we could probably be friends. I could always use a few more.
I’m never high when I write these things, just grammar-challenged and sleep deprived.