Today I learned a new term. Ironic since it’s only six in the morning. I learned the term cognitive dissonance.
Main Entry: cognitive dissonance
: psychological conflict resulting from incongruous beliefs and attitudes held simultaneously
I didn’t know this problem existed until a year ago, maybe less than that. I definitely did not know it had a name, I just thought this person was a sole case. They often choose to be.
Why is it a problem? Let’s take homosexuality for example. First, understand I believe who you are attracted too is something you can not control. You can only control what you do about the attraction. Understanding that, imagine the frustration of loving someone and believing, sincerely, that loving that person is wrong.
Our beliefs are the foundations by which we live, love and grow. If those beliefs are strong enough, we began to punish ourselves, thinking its all for the greater purpose. This begins a spiral towards unease and abashment simply because you are conditioning yourself to discredit your own emotion. You could not ever be in a viable relationship without accepting who you are. In other words: How can you love someone else if you don’t love yourself?
I use Homosexuality as an example because I understand the question it presents in our society in relation to what we believe. I also understand there are people out there fighting against themselve because what they feel and what they believe are incongruous and that must be hell to deal with.
It is true that you do learn something everyday and sometimes – you already knew.